


Good Days and Bad Days

by alliancedogtags



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: M/M, but that's okay i mean he saves the galaxy multiple times sooo, he's kind of earned the right to feel sad for himself, shepard feeling really sorry for himself, space boyfriendos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-19
Updated: 2014-05-19
Packaged: 2018-01-25 17:47:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1657031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alliancedogtags/pseuds/alliancedogtags
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>request message from sam, who has waited patiently like the biggest cutest dear ever thank you thank you:</p><p>Sbhdhdhdjsisisisjyjx. Yaaaaay!! I love it when you write stuff for me. <3 um um um okay. Shepard taking his first steps in hospital after the war. Kaidan is there but then Shepard falls and he can see in John’s eyes that it only crushed his spirit more. But Kaidan encourage him to try again and thennnn Shep walks. c:</p>
            </blockquote>





	Good Days and Bad Days

**Author's Note:**

  * For [nickysvalentine](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nickysvalentine/gifts).



> request that took too long! no editing on this one at all, sorry

“The implants are going to be a bit stiff for a while. You’ll have good days and bad days.”

Good thing he was accustomed to those. Most of his life had been bad days with a splash of “okay”, and hearing the part where it could be “bad” was absolutely no surprise to him. He’d heard it before, when he’d signed the papers to join the Alliance, when he’d stood up at the podium after receiving his first war medal, when he’d listened as the Council made him a Spectre. The bad was what he lived in. The bad was what he tried to fix every time that it came around.

But instead of focusing on the bad, on the percentage of odds against him that it wouldn’t work anymore, or the fact that his aging bones could finally give in and play quits, Shepard focused on Kaidan’s warm hand on his shoulder. Kaidan gave gentle squeezes now and then, thumb stroking along the hard bump where his collarbone connected with his shoulder through the cotton of his hospital gown.

Having Chakwas there did help. She’d enrolled to aid, save for mostly enrolling to aid Shepard with a few other soldiers on the side. Once the surgeries had been finished and he was all cleaned up, she was the one who was checking his IVs, changing his bandages, and now she was the one leaning against the wall explaining to him how the implants were going to work. Tons of doctoral stuff that he didn’t quite understand, really. He left that one to Chakwas, because she’d always known best.

Shepard tapped his big toe against the slick linoleum floor, twisting his fingers in the bedding and feeling the clutch of nerves in the pit of his stomach. His first steps since he’d saved the galaxy; a survival that was still shrouded in muffled confusion for him.

“Right now, all we can ask of you is to take a few steps across the room. It is not a hurry, though. Your body may reject the cybernetic implants for a short period of time.” Chakwas folded the clipboard to her chest, straightening up slightly. “Since I need to take notes, I cannot be your support for your steps. I figured that you’ve had enough unfamiliar hands on you. I asked Major Alenko to be your support if you happen to stumble.”

“He’s my height. If I fall, he falls too,” John teased, elbowing his partner in the side, who chuckled and shook his head. “Alright, Doc. What’s the first step?”

“Standing up. I want Kaidan to brace you on that one, though. It’s not going to be an easy one.”

He heard that one plenty of times. We don’t know if they’ll work. We don’t know if the implants were damaged during the war. We might be able to fix you, but you’ll never be the same. You’ll hopefully be okay. Maybe you’ll be able to walk again. What are you going to do if your body doesn’t react well to the implants and you’re wheel-bound for the rest of your life? Or how about the what if the body reacted and you didn’t make it out alive?

It was disheartening. Even now, he stared down at the floor, his bare and bruised feet, wiggling his toes and steeling himself. He’d faced Sovereign and lived. He’d survived the suicide mission to the Omega 4 Relay and had stopped the Collectors. He’d united the galaxy and stopped the Reapers.

Shepard could take a few steps. Old hat.

Pushing off of the bed was harder than planned; his head spun with bloodrush, the edges of his vision darkening momentarily. Kaidan’s warm hand remained at his midback, other one coming to rest on his shoulder as he braced John in case he fell.

He was alright leaning forward, finally pushing himself all the way up into a vertical standing position. The movement was odd, and his implants /throbbed/, but he was there, and that was what mattered.

He was standing.

“Good job, Commander. I’m sure that your recovery will be easy.” Chakwas smiled when he looked up at her, writing down a note on her clipboard before tucking it to her chest again. “Now, if you could take a step or two, and then you’ll be all done for the day.”

A step. Easy enough.

It would have been, if when he picked up his left leg to take a step, his right knee hadn’t given out. But it did; and with the startled sound of pain that escaped him, he sunk to the floor, luckily slowed from his fall when his arms wound around John. He still hit the ground, but it was softer. His legs lay out in front of him, and Kaidan helped move the one that was trapped underneath him, letting John lay back against the side of the bed. Chakwas was crouched in front of him, he realized dully.

“Listen, I should have been out of here by now.” John’s fists clenched in his lap, and he slumped into his lover’s grasp, sighing to himself. “I’m not going to heal up from this one, and all three of us know it.”

“You’re going to be alright, Shepard,” Kaidan murmured, arms tightening around him in a hug this time. The next time he spoke, it was against John’s temple. “We’ll get up, and try again now that your implants are warmed up. You can do this one, John.”

When John hesitated, Kaidan continued.

“You get walking, and we’re moving out of here and up to the English Bay, like you said.” He kissed his temple this time, punctuating the words. “You’ve saved the galaxy three times now. Recovery’s going to be nothing for you.”

For a moment they sat, before John dug his elbow into Kaidan’s stomach, nudging out of his grasp. “C’mon. Give me a hand.”

This time trying, he made it a few steps. Deep down, it finally clicked for him; he was on the path to recovering, to getting out of here and retiring to live out his days as an exhausted yet cheery old veteran.

_ “Welcome back, Commander,” Chakwas said with a grin, and Kaidan’s warm arms encased him tightly. _


End file.
